Knight In Shining Armor

I don't know why I continue to sometimes put God in a box and think that He is only at work in my life during the moments of my worship.  Can He really work in the midst of the secular music world?

As I left for school this morning, I decided to not go with my normal morning of listening to WDJC but instead listened to Michael Buble.  I don’t remember the last time I played his music.  I didn’t even know why I was choosing to listen to him but I ended up playing “Haven’t Met You Yet”.  So I’m singing along and listening to the words thinking “Yeah ok here we go.  I can relate to how this starts.  Nothing good ever lasts with me, I’ve had a broken heart, I talk myself into bad things and out of good things, and I AM ALWAYS let down.”  Then I go on to have a pity party about how no good man has ever pursued me, much less tell me that he’ll wait on me or never give up on me.  Then to top it off, he’ll give more than he gets and how amazing we will be together?  Ok so what?  Now my morning was going to be turned in to a poor pitiful Lisa day?  Well, then the song played again and I realized I had my iPod on repeat.  So I let it play again…

As the song plays repeatedly, I find myself thinking about some fantasy of all sorts involving a knight in shining armor sweeping me off my feet and saying all of these wonderful romantic things to me.  He adores me and would do anything for me and we will live together in complete bliss for the rest of our lives.  Other than the fact of this being TOTAL and COMPLETE fantasy, it was odd for me because I haven’t really been looking for a man or a relationship for that matter.   I have been content in being single.  Fortunately, I snapped back to reality.

As I continued my drive, I thought about how God IS all that I fantasized about in that man of flesh.  He does adore me.  Most importantly, He pursued me!  Yes, I was pursed by the most important male figure that ever existed and still exists.  He also keeps his promise when He says that He’ll give me way more than I will ever give Him.  My response to my Lord could only be that of the lyrics….”And I know that we can be so amazing.  Your love is going to change me and now I can see every possibility!” 

The possibilities (that we thought we thought of like in the lyrics(wink wink)) are endless with God and our lives can be more fruitful than we ever imagine.   As I have struggled these past few weeks in my walk with the Lord because of doubt, He still loves me enough to pursue me to remind me I AM HIS and I have nothing to doubt.  His love has changed me and I do see the realm of possibilities He gives me.  I may go through trials and tribulations here on earth, but we will live in bliss forever!

I began thinking about all the people who haven’t met the Lord.  They look to worldly treasures to seek fulfillment, satisfaction, and self worth.  Just like my earlier thoughts – they are a fantasy.  Nothing here on earth will sustain the desires of our heart.  Only Christ can do that.  All of these temporary gods will fade.  We must be careful to not only lump material objects as the only things we idolize.  We can idolize our spouses, significant others, children, friends, pastors, or individuals we don’t even know.  Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians to fix our eyes on not what is seen but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

I am no different than anyone else as far as the pursuit goes.  God desires all to be saved…

"This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth" 
(1 Tim. 2:3-4).

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9).

However, the outcome is not all the same.  If we choose to not accept Christ it is not because we aren’t being pursued.  It is because we choose another choice.  God promises us eternal blessings and we can’t have them if He is able to say to us “I haven’t met you yet”.  Believing that God exists isn’t knowing God.  Knowing God is having an intimate and personal relationship with Him.  It’s trusting in Him and having enough faith to live for Him.

If you are saying these things to God – “I’m not surprised, not everything lasts.  I’ve broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track.  Talk myself in, talk myself out.  I get all worked up, then I let myself down.  I try so very hard not to lose it.  I came up with a million excuses.  I thought I thought of every possibility"…... Let God’s response be to you - “And I know someday that it’ll all turn out.  You’ll make me work so we can work it out.  And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get.  I just haven’t met you yet.  I might have to wait.  I’ll never give up.  Wherever you are, whenever it’s right you’ll come out of nowhere and into my life.”

Have you met the Lord?  Or have you just heard of Him?  Do you know people that have met Him?  Or is He just hearsay to you?  Do you peek out the hole before opening the door and then leave it shut because He is standing there knocking?  Do you screen your phone calls and hit the ignore but because the caller ID shows "God calling"?  There will come a time where there will be no more knocks at the door and the phone will stop ringing.  You would have lost the opportunity to meet the love of your life, your knight in shining armor.

 And just in case you're wondering....

Redemptive Love

A few weeks ago I attended another Discovery Weekend.  However, this last time I was on the team rather than a participant.  So what does that mean?  In a nutshell, 12 weeks of preparation, prayer, intimate reliance on God, and getting down to the pits of digging up my past and writing them on paper in order to share them to over 50 women to reveal how God has worked in my life and redeemed me as His beloved.  My story on paper ended up much the same way as the pages of the bible end.  Redemptive love.  Satan seeks to destroy us.  Satan seeks to have us live a life apart from God.  That is what satan lives for.  That is what satan had me living for - a life of shame, guilt, misery, and separation from God.

The pages of my story ended in a transformation.  I am no longer a slave to sin (John 8:34).  The last pages or book of the bible is not about trying to figure out the timetable on when our existence will end or what day Jesus will return.  It is to remind us that the fight has already been won.  Jesus has overcome evil and death and He will return for us.  That is a promise.  Satan has no control or victory over that.  The book of Revelation reminds us of Jesus' victory and His love for us.  He is the Redeemer.  If He promises to save all those who trust in Him when this world will no longer be, why wouldn't He save me right now?  Or you?  God chose to redeem my past.  He not only chose to redeem it but He chose to use it for His glory! 

I also always felt like spiritual warfare was present in my life during the times leading up to events.  I was warned, and rightly so, that spiritual warfare may become more powerful in those 12 weeks leading up to the weekend.  I never felt overwhelmed, in that regard, the entire 12 weeks.  I even wondered about it sometimes because it concerned me that I didn't feel the warfare attacking me therefore making me question God's plan for having me be apart of this team.  Well, let me tell you...satan decided to defer his attacks on me until after the weekend and he wasted no time in doing so.

Since the weekend, the adversary has passionately pursed my mind with thoughts of doubt and regret.  Satan's questions and statements would go something like this:

How could you possibly get up in front of 50 vulnerable women and tell them your junk and sin for nearly 2 decades and then pass it off as no big deal if you just ask God to forgive you??  How belittling is that to your so-called gospel?  How could you make light of your consistent sin?  That's not redeemable.  You're telling all of these women to just forget their rebellion against God and move on with a blanket "I'm sorry"?  Don't you remember what Matthew 7:21-23 says - “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ ²³ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’  You aren't prophesying in God's name.  You are blaspheming his name!

Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44).  He will continue to seek out to destroy the work of God.  If God is using you, then you have a bullseye on your back and satan is thrashing arrows at you from every direction.  I have struggled these past few weeks in questioning God's use for me on that weekend.  I have been overcome with confusion and I have felt betrayed and defeated most days.  God's work in me is not done.  He has just started and He will finish.  While I know the devil will seek out my destruction daily, I am thankful and beyond gracious that God seeks me out more.  I am thankful that God continues to remind me of that in the midst of my wrestling with satan.  I am thankful for the people in my life that pray for me and remind me of God's plan for me.  There is nothing I can do but seek out God's will for my life.  All I can do is pray daily for God to show me what His plan is for me that very day.  I can live my life for God that day.  I will have bad days and some days I will fail more miserably than others. I will even turn my back on God.  Yes, I said it.  I'm a Christian and I turn my back on God.  It's reality.  Christian aren't perfect and we are still sinners on a daily basis.  We rebel every day.  Doesn't matter what our denomination is or faith is for that matter.  WE ALL SIN.  What makes me different is not that I am better than everyone else and live a righteous life of good deeds because I don't.  I accepted a Savior that died for me and turned my life over for Him.  My desire is to glorify God, not myself or this world.