Does God really speak through a Cyndi Lauper song?

"All Through the Night", a Cyndi Lauper classic.  I rarely really listen to the words of songs and usually only like a song because of the sound or beat of it or maybe because the chorus sounds cool.  I can hardly ever tell you the meaning of a song or even sing the words back if the music isn't playing.  As I was listening to my iTunes playlist, this song began to play.  I'm browsing the computer as I'm listening so I'm half paying attention yet the words just jumped out at me.

Earlier this morning, I reluctantly sent out an email to 2 groups of women letting them know a prayer request of mine.  I was reluctant because I didn't want to make a big deal out of something that, for the most part, is a no big deal thing.  I received a call from my doctor yesterday informing me that I had some inconsistencies on my recent pap smear and that some abnormal cells showed up and that I needed to go in for a procedure called a colposcopy.  In all of my 20 years of getting paps, mine never came back with anything other than a normal verdict so I had no idea what a colposcopy was.  After speaking to the nurse, I knew that it was a routine procedure and that women have it done often but it consumed my mind for the rest of the morning, afternoon, and night.  I was so irritable and frustrated that I was allowing myself to become more irritated because I knew worrying would do nothing.  I kept telling myself that I needed to just send out a prayer request but talked myself out of it each time.  I woke up this morning and of course I am thinking about it.  As I'm brushing my teeth, God lays a verse on my heart:

Phillippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

As a child of God, I was to be anxious about nothing and in EVERY situation, no matter how silly I thought it was, I was to pray and ask for intercession with a joyful heart.  That word petition spoke to me.  What is a petition?  I always picture a petition as a piece of paper with a list of names who are all in agreement on what that petition, or request, is.  No matter how big or small, I needed my sisters petitioning with me.  I came home from taking the boys to school, sat down, typed and sent the email to the ladies.  Immediately I began receiving emails and texts from them.  My worries were lifted just hearing from them but there were a couple of instances that literally made me tear up and smile.  I was realizing AGAIN that by that small act of obedience in listening to the Lord tell me to share my feelings, He was already at work.

One text I received was from my new sweet friend, Starlette.  She texted that she saw my email and would be praying for me.  Her second text said that she was so happy that she gets to pray for me for a change.  I could feel the tears fill my eyes and I just began smiling.  Since Starlette and I met, I have been praying for her.  Not that she hasn't prayed for me but that was just kind of where I was with her.  We share some similarities in that mindset of always feeling like a broken record with certain "sob stories" and prayer requests.  I remember several years ago just begging for the day to come for me to be able to pray for others and lift them up to the Lord instead of always feeling so weak that I needed to constantly be lifted up in prayer.  I remember how freeing it was to finally be at the point of getting to do that for others.  It made me happy that my sweet friend was now getting to pray for me because I knew exactly how she was feeling by getting to do so!  God reminded me in that moment of being a servant.  We always think we have to be the ones to serve others but we forget that somewhere in that exchange there has to be one that is being served.  In this case, I was getting to be served by Starlette on behalf of her prayers for me.  She gets to give and I get to receive.  Isn't that just what Jesus did?  He was a servant but also allowed others to serve Him.  What about when Mary poured perfume on Him.  What about when Martha served Jesus when He came to her home?  What about when John the Baptist baptized Jesus?  Service is two-fold and we have to swallow our pride and allow others the gift of serving!

Emails were coming in from the ladies, however, they weren't just emails of encouragement.  Some of the emails being sent were prayer requests.  I was overwhelmed that some of the ladies were sharing what their struggles or requests were.  It was reminding me what we have been talking about in my small group the past 2 Sundays.  Sharing our stories with one another, being real, being genuine, being open with each other and for one another.  Even though I was reluctant in sending that email with my "silly fears", it allowed the opportunity for other ladies to share.  That WAS NOT my doing but all God.  I just submitted.  He led me to go down a certain road, gave me the courage to do it, then backed it up by showing the blessings that come with being vulnerable and honest and having enough faith to hand over our junk to Him.  I get to do both - be served by my sisters and serve my sisters by praying for them.  That was certainly not on my radar this morning when I chose to hit the send button.  My mood and attitude has been a complete turn around today.  I haven't had the least bit of worry and only joy has consumed my mind.  God reminded me that we have sisters in Christ for a reason and to take advantage of it.  

So how does all of this pertain to Cyndi Lauper?  I honestly can't tell you what the meaning of that song "All Through the Night" is about or the where the person was coming from who wrote it.  All I know is that earlier in the morning I was listening to my gospel playlist and took a turn and started listening to my pop playlist.  I just know that God was determined to speak to me regardless and chose to do it through a pop song.  Did God wake up this morning and change His plans to reveal Himself to me because of my free will to listen to pop music?  No.  When was the last time I listened to that song?  Don't remember.  He knew I would be where I was at that particular time and He met me there.  God can do anything He wants in any way He wants.  Did I choose freely and willingly this morning?  Yes.  Did He know I would be where I was emotionally, physically, spiritually?  Yes.  Were those moments pre-destined?  Rigged?  (shoulder shrug with a smile)...  At any rate, here are the words to the song and my thoughts:


All through the night
I'll be awake and I'll be with you
All through the night
This precious time when time is new
Oh, all through the night today
Knowing that we feel the same without saying 

(As this started to play, I felt as if God was saying those words to me.  That even though I sleep, He will always be awake and with me.  Each moment is a new one and precious in that it can't be repeated or taken back.  Regardless, He is there.)

We have no past we won't reach back
Keep with me forward all through the night
And once we start the meter clicks
And it goes running all through the night
Until it ends there is no end 

(In Christ, our past is forgotten and forgiven.  We don't need to allow past sin to hold us hostage.  We are no longer slaves to sin.  Stay with Me always.  Once we make our faith in Christ, "the meter clicks" - our new life begins and it runs always and until it ends, it remains - which is never ending in Christ.)

All through the night
Stray cat is crying so stray cat sings back
All through the night
They have forgotten what by day they lack
Oh under those white street lamps
There is a little chance they may see 

(Even in the very nights that I sleep in the presence of God, others don't.  There are those who continue to stray from God aimlessly wandering.  Their cries are amongst each other as they cry back and forth.  They forget the very thing they lack - Christ.  Under the lights and submission to the world, they don't see Him.)

We have no past we won't reach back
Keep with me forward all through the night
And once we start the meter clicks
And it goes running all through the night
Until it ends there is no end

Oh the sleep in your eyes is enough
Let me be there let me stay there awhile 

(Even when we are tired and weary, He wants to stay and carry our burdens for us.  Those 4 words, "let me be there" reminded me that He is always willing if we will only allow Him instead of shutting Him out with what we think are silly requests or cries.)

We have no past we won't reach back
Keep with me forward all through the night
And once we start the meter clicks
And it goes running all through the night
Until it ends there is no end
Keep with me forward all through the night
And once we start the meter clicks
And it goes running all through the night
Until it ends there is no end

Consequences and Hope

Where do I even begin? How does one begin to put into words the bone chilling recognition that God is clearly making Himself known in your midst? Not making Himself present... but known.  Does it mean that something didn't exist or wasn't present before we recognized it? No.

There are a plethora of things that are in our constant nearness and we may not acknowledge it or know it but when something makes itself known, it is active in its presence.  It is either bold and standing out, maybe even making noises or moving.  Often it's something we run in to or trip over with our feet.  On occasion it's something we've seen a million times but for whatever reason it's now drawing us in to its very being.  Sometimes it's something that is pointed out to us. Unfortunately and more often than not it is something that we just ignore. Without explanation, in the next moment, it makes itself KNOWN.

Sin can be viewed in so many ways and we as humans attach it to different levels.  Sometimes we even ok it because we diagnose it as the "little white lies" syndrome.  No harm done, right? We ignore it because it doesn't fit our lifestyle choices or we don't want to give up those pleasures.  We even go so far as supporting it because it's the politically correct thing to do and we should fight for the minorities, in most cases.  And sadly, we accept sin because we don't truly know the eternal severity or consequences of rebelling against God while we go about our days continuing to slap Him in the face only to vainly demand that He hold our very heads up in comfort when we have them hovered down in our own self destruction covered in filth and selfishness.  God doesn't put sin on different levels.  It's all rebellion.  Different sin requires different consequences but ANY sin to God is rebellion and is to be kept apart from Him.

As I have struggled with personal continual sin these past few months, I have had a rough, to say the least, past week.  As I could see my sin, individually and linked to someone else, unfolding I was deceived into thinking it was happening for a reason limited to the real issues at hand.  To recap as I blogged last time, my boyfriend had a change of plans regarding his attendance at a men's ministry because of work.  I was so upset and emotional about it all and directed my anger toward my boyfriend, his boss, and God.  Since then and in the past 36 hours I have been given the revelation that I was for the most part directing my anger inappropriately towards two of those individuals yet not including myself.  You see, I had also been given the divine privilege to serve in a women's ministry last month.  During that 12 week process of preparation through intimate time with God, my heart began to become hardened over time and I knew it.  I could feel it.  And I knew why.  At one point I was given the opportunity to write part of a script for the weekend.  I wanted to incorporate words of intimacy through a bride and bridegroom with that of biblical references from the Old Testament veil.  I had no trouble writing down the words concerning the veil.  That was easy. It was already there for me.  I just had to find it in the Bible.  I struggled for almost a week to come up with the words of intimacy.  How hard could it be to write about a bride and bridegroom and the love they share for one another?  Well, when you have totally deserted and strayed away from your own intimacy with God, He takes those words from you.  I write all of the time, not all of which I post, so to come up with words to put on a page shouldn't have been a big deal.  But it was a big deal to God and He wasn't going to allow me to partake in it in vain only for His precious brides that would be coming through that room to hear.  And so it was done.  I confessed this to my prayer team in which I was involved and told them where I was with my struggle to write and that I felt it was from a hardened heart.  Even though I had opened up somewhat to them as a group, the damage was done.  I was never given the words or thoughts of intimacy from Him.  I lost out on that.  God still lavished His love on me by allowing me to be a part of the weekend.  God's timing for that was already prepared.  My view on God's timing for it was based on my actions, not His.  

God has revealed a lot to me this past week about turning away from His desires and His ways but He has also reminded me of some things like His timing.  I am a firm believer in pre-destination and free will and to me it makes perfect sense on how they are intertwined but what I have become more aware of is how His timing is always perfect.  It's not God's timing that messes us up...it's where we are in God's timing that makes us or breaks us.  The moments of God making Himself known is already in the books to happen.  It's where we are in our walk with Him on how we will react to Him revealing Himself.  God revealed Himself in even mightier ways for this past weekend for the men's ministry and said once again that He will not be made a fool of.  And so it was.  He put a stop to the nonsense and was glorified even more for it. He still is revealing His purpose for the events of this past weekend even today.  

In even more depth, God has made Himself known to me in drastic ways the past 12 hours. The last time I shed this many tears in a day was over 4 years ago when watching my grandfather's life fade away before my very eyes.  God's wrath is just and perfect.  It is no fun to be on the other end of that.  It is no fun to be one who is being called out by God and it hurts even more to see ones we love being called out as well.  However, it is necessary and if I'm honest, I am thankful and blessed for it.  That doesn't mean that I am not hurt, sad, or wishing I had just been obedient to my Father.  In Deuteronomy 10:12-13, Moses said, "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the LORD and His statutes which I command you today for your good?"  FEAR THE LORD.  SERVE THE LORD.  KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS.  

In response to the verse, I sometimes become so complacent in my ways and ignore my actions. I can't even say I forget because God gives me that Godly conviction to remind me.  I ignore it for my own pleasure and ease.  Do we even fear God anymore?  Did we ever?  This world reflects no.  We have belittled God into a sappy push over who will let us do whatever we want because "a good God would never let anything bad happen to us".  Society, and the ridiculousness of the Church, shoves down our throats to the point of vomiting that God is only loving, forgiving, gracious, and someone that we can wrap around our grimy fingers and that anything else is pure evil.  Well God is all of those things except the sappy push over but He is also Judge, wrathful, gets angry, and is jealous!  Those are righteous qualities that He has and those things do not come from evil.  Those characteristics are dished out FROM HIM because of evil!  Just as quickly as we like to proclaim the majesty of the heavens and that we all have a place there waiting for us, we just as quickly dismiss the nightmare of hell.  They are both real, not just one.  And... if we feared the Lord more, we would become aware of both of those realities.  I don't even know what to say on serving the Lord.  I mean who can you serve that you don't even respect or in some cases don't even know or believe in?  The sad thing is that many of us believe in God yet don't know Him as anything else from the man on the moon.  Knowing God and believing in God can be two points that are farthest from each other or the same point.  I pray that if you are honest with yourself and you can't say that you KNOW God rather than knowing of Him, you will ask Him to make Himself known to you. I would love to pray for you.  And on the commandment issue, I know we all like to throw that one out the window because it's "Old Testament".  Yes, some of the Old Testament isn't applicable today but fearing the Lord and serving the Lord is still just as intact today as it was when it was written.  It isn't a matter of whether or not we scored accordingly on our spiritual gift test to see if this is something that fits within our realm of possibilities.  In the above verse Moses asked "what does the Lord require of you"?  Require.  Not suggest or think about.  To me, a requirement from the Lord is a commandment.  So just because it doesn't have a number 1 through 10 next to it or doesn't involve some sort of animal being slain and offered up doesn't mean it isn't still commanded. God will not be mocked or taken lightly.  At some point, it will be dealt with and I am beyond thankful that my "dealing with" is on this earth and not when I am standing in front of His face!  When those consequences are handed to me, all I can do is surrender and submit to His authority that of which is hopefully lathered in humility.

Between my week and certain conversations with my boyfriend, some fitting revelations from God that He has willingly yet undeservedly given to me today....

My morning devotional verse of the day: Roman 13:8 - Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law (clear confirmation regarding a specific conversation on Sunday with my boyfriend regarding finances)

My daily morning text from my sweet friend, Debi: Hebrews 4:16 - Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (confirmation of Him hearing my cries last night when I repented in a not so worldly attractive way)

I don't even remember how He showed me this one: 1 John 2:1 - My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One (confirmation in my prayers and exact words last night for Him to be my defender)

He gave me this early this morning in response to my exact words last night through repentance and prayer...

Jesus Is Our Defender

12/01/2011 BY PTR. NOEL M. MORANDARTE 

He will not tolerate sin in a true believer’s life but He will certainly defend him from the condemnation of the accuser because He has already redeemed him with His most precious blood. When you are confronted by malicious attacks and gossips, do you try to fight for your own name and dignity or do you allow the Lord to be your defender? “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2).”

Yes, the Lord rebukes, corrects, and disciplines whom He loves but He will never leave them without a defense against the devil who prowls like a roaring lion. He will stand at our side and answer every lie that the enemy throws against us and give us strength so we can proclaim Him, our very message, so the world may know Him.

We must always set the Lord always before us; that is, let us always acknowledge that the battle is the Lord’s. We may have been enlisted as soldiers in His Kingdom but it is the Lord’s Kingdom, and it is the Lord’s fight. Even David, who loved the Lord so much, who stood up and fought against Goliath, that nine-foot giant Philistine who disgraced the Name of the Lord, said, “This day the LORD will hand you over to me…(1 Samuel 17:46).” “….the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s and He will give all of you into our hands (v. 47).

So you see, the Lord will be the one to fight for you. He will hand over the enemy to your hand. He will save you. The battle is the Lord’s. It’s not and it’s never going to be the other way around.

The Lord is our defender. Let Him fight the battle for you. He is our shield. “We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (Romans 8:37).”

I tend to have "Repeat Songs of the Day" and will literally play it continually if it is on my heart for a particular reason.  My repeat song has now been going 2 days and I honestly feel it just as deeply right now as it plays and as I did when I started listening to it yesterday.  This song will always remind me of Jeffrey's and my time with God last night and I will always be taken back to that picture of us waving the white flag.  A man's voice starting off with just the simple yet pleasing sound of strumming a guitar with God's words playing through his fingertips and voice.  What a reminder of confession, separation from God, our complete and total need for Him, our sin, His grace, freedom, Jesus! My life in a nutshell these past hours!  

Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You

• Lord, I come, I confess
  Bowing here I find my rest
  Without You I fall apart
  You're the One that guides my heart
  
  Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
  Every hour I need You
  My one defense, my righteousness
  Oh God, how I need You
  
  Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
  Where grace is found is where You are
  And where You are, Lord, I am free
  Holiness is Christ in me
  
  Teach my song to rise to You
  When temptation comes my way
  And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
  Jesus, you're my hope and stay

  
  

• 
  

You want favor??? Honor Me then.

So I was having a fairly uneventful morning then I receive a phone call from someone I love dearly.  How is it that so many times in our lives that unknowingly dreaded "phone call" can totally transform our day or even our lives?  One moment earlier everything was fine and the next moment it changes.  No matter how small or big the situation, it affects us and the ones we love.

My boyfriend, Jeffrey, called and I was told immediately that the call was for prayers and wisdom.  He sounded extremely burdened and anxious.  Without going into great detail, he has a commitment that was planned 3 months ago.  He is supposed to be going away to serve in a men's ministry so.....of course he is needed at work all weekend as he finds out this morning.  Oh and by the way, he is supposed to be leaving TOMORROW.  Yeah.

Although I didn't give it away on the phone, I instantly became over-protective and angry.  I told him I was going to have some friends pray about it, pray myself, and then return his call. I hung up the phone and was asking myself if this was really happening.  Seriously?  Of course, I'm now angry at Jeffrey, the person asking him to work, and God.  So why am I angry and all three of them?  Well, I felt angry at Jeffrey because he clearly didn't relay the importance and necessity of this weekend with his boss (mind you this is want was going on in my head so it wasn't necessarily the case).  I felt angry at his boss for being selfish enough to ask Jeffrey to work knowing Jeffrey already had this commitment and I got angry at God for allowing this to happen.  My main beef was with God.  How could He allow Jeffrey to be put in this situation?  God certainly allowed Jeffrey to be led into committing to this, allowed him to go through the process for 12 weeks, and now this?  The day before he was to leave he is just suppose to choose work or Him?  If I'm honest I was borderline infuriated.

So I texted my friends asking for their prayers and then prepped myself for prayer.  I turned on my gospel playlist to help my mood prior to bringing myself before the Lord.  I browsed through my playlist to try and find the right song or what I thought would be appropriate for the situation and my mood.  I finally played "It Is Well With My Soul".  As the music started I crouched over and just closed my eyes and I began to pray.  However, it was not well with my soul and I voiced that.  I began telling God that I was not happy about this, this predicament was NOT well with my soul, and then had the audacity to question Him and His purpose in this.  To make things worse, my heart was aching for Jeffrey because I knew he was struggling with this decision to the point of physical sickness - which is not of his character. When someone I love is hurting or struggling, my emotions tend to lean towards anger rather than sadness.  Jeffrey was burdened so I was burdened.  I was pleading with God to show favor towards Jeffrey and to remember the heart that Jeffrey has for Him.  I wanted God to honor my prayers,  Jeffrey's prayers, and whoever else we had praying.  I wanted those prayers honored on the basis of God reflecting on Jeffrey's heart.  Although my intentions were good, I was basing this on Jeffrey's heart rather than God's character.  Know what the next song to play on my playlist was?  "Jealous".  God is a jealous God and has every right to be without question or even answering for that matter.

After I wrapped up my prayer degrading God's character, I eventually asked for myself to not make this about me or anything else but Him.  Well, I had already made it about anything but Him.  God simply told me that if He wanted to remind Jeffrey and/or myself that He is to be put first and foremost, then He could do it any way that He chooses.  If this request of Jeffrey's boss was to be some sort of reality check on what's really important in our lives, then so be it. Not that choosing work or the weekend was the right or wrong answer but that no matter the situation, we are to always think of Him first and seek His Will - "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your way My ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

But....much to my surprise, God makes His next question and statement directly to me.  He says, "You want favor?  Honor me then."

Yeah, just let that soak in for a moment.....

Ok, isn't this suppose to be about Jeffrey or the weekend or something?  How did this get turned on me?  Well, He answers that for me too.  For one, I had the nerve to actually question His motives and His way about doing it.  Secondly, I was asking for God to show favor and honor us.  Now I could obviously pull out one of my verses I always cling to - James 5:16 which speaks of how the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective or even the Matthew 18:19 that talks about gathering with two or more and asking for anything and it will be done.  Who knows, maybe I did.  However, in typical Lisa fashion I looked up the word favor and the word honor.

Favor - to give special regard to; something done or granted out of goodwill
Honor - high regard or great respect given; a showing of merited respect

I also wondered if there was anything in the bible that spoke of honor and favor together. Well one verse came up and in a version that I NEVER read....

The CES version say God shows favor to those who honor Him, listening to their cries for help and saving them - Psalm 145:19 

Now I am only speaking of myself right now but God was absolutely spot on.  Big surprise. Some of my actions and lifestyle choices here lately have not been very honoring to God.  I was reminded that I am living in areas of clear disobedience yet asking for God to show favor to my pleas.  God even went a little deeper and told me that I, at times, am not even honoring to Jeffrey.  I have the ability to have an influence in Jeffrey's life and I tend to take that lightly.  

I think that's enough said on that issue.

To end things and back track a bit, I had been listening to WDJC all morning, prior to speaking to Jeffrey, waiting for a song to come on that I was wanting to download to my playlist but I didn't know the name of it.  After my ordeal this morning and getting out of my bratty mood, I felt led to write about this.  I sat down at my computer, got situated, and the song finally came on the radio.  I immediately downloaded it and have had it on repeat all day.  It's "His Kind of Love" by Group 1 Crew.  I looked at my clock and it came on at 1pm exactly.  One.  First.  Put Me first is what I kept hearing.  That is what is honoring to Him.

Isn't It Ironic?

When I was a prostitute When I was a drunk
When I was an addict When I was high on pride
When I was a rebel When I was an adulteress
When I was lost When I bought all the lies

My dreams and fantasies were unzipped boxes, diamonds all around
jet airliners waiting, snow on the ground
My prince charming whisking me away 
no worries or cares, only how I would play

You were watching all along
brokenhearted and crushed within Your spirit
Resounding Your name upon my deaf ears
not even fighting to hear it

My heart cried out for Your presence
while melting away like chocolate in my hands
To make Yourself known
like trumpets playing from ten thousand bands

Your pursuit leaves me exhausted even more
as I can't keep up with running to afar
Keeping my back turned
the water from my eyes are filling up the jars

But it's my eyes You want to see 
to hold my cheeks in Your hands
To give me all You have to offer
love that covers the lands

It was, it is, will always be
Your sting that bites me as a sinner
But Your mercies rain on me for free

and covers my filth void of 30 pieces of silver

My prayers are void my thoughts are lost
I'm wandering about my ways
lost in translation
I'm being swallowed by the days

The moon shines brightly and the sun begins to fade
another day gone, another time lost
I toss and turn all the night long
wondering if my place is at the foot of the cross

Satan stands at my door and crouching all around
are demons from my past calling out my name
They scratch my back and caress my hair
telling me it's all the same

Impostors making me feel at ease
telling me the world is mine
With gentle whispers soft as the breeze
pulling me in line by line

I pound my hands thrashing back and forth
wondering where You are, why You're leaving me here on the floor
It's then I realize I have no strength no power
without you as my Lord, My Defender of every hour

I want to fall in love
with the One who loves me most
Who praises me and treasures me 
as His Beloved - that I can boast

He is mine and I am His
in that there is no shame
Nothing can separate the love He has for me 
the one He calls by name

~Anonymous