Isn't It Ironic?

When I was a prostitute When I was a drunk
When I was an addict When I was high on pride
When I was a rebel When I was an adulteress
When I was lost When I bought all the lies

My dreams and fantasies were unzipped boxes, diamonds all around
jet airliners waiting, snow on the ground
My prince charming whisking me away 
no worries or cares, only how I would play

You were watching all along
brokenhearted and crushed within Your spirit
Resounding Your name upon my deaf ears
not even fighting to hear it

My heart cried out for Your presence
while melting away like chocolate in my hands
To make Yourself known
like trumpets playing from ten thousand bands

Your pursuit leaves me exhausted even more
as I can't keep up with running to afar
Keeping my back turned
the water from my eyes are filling up the jars

But it's my eyes You want to see 
to hold my cheeks in Your hands
To give me all You have to offer
love that covers the lands

It was, it is, will always be
Your sting that bites me as a sinner
But Your mercies rain on me for free

and covers my filth void of 30 pieces of silver

My prayers are void my thoughts are lost
I'm wandering about my ways
lost in translation
I'm being swallowed by the days

The moon shines brightly and the sun begins to fade
another day gone, another time lost
I toss and turn all the night long
wondering if my place is at the foot of the cross

Satan stands at my door and crouching all around
are demons from my past calling out my name
They scratch my back and caress my hair
telling me it's all the same

Impostors making me feel at ease
telling me the world is mine
With gentle whispers soft as the breeze
pulling me in line by line

I pound my hands thrashing back and forth
wondering where You are, why You're leaving me here on the floor
It's then I realize I have no strength no power
without you as my Lord, My Defender of every hour

I want to fall in love
with the One who loves me most
Who praises me and treasures me 
as His Beloved - that I can boast

He is mine and I am His
in that there is no shame
Nothing can separate the love He has for me 
the one He calls by name

~Anonymous